Don’t you just hate it when someone puts you in a box?
...when they categorise or define you in a limiting way?
It’s frustrating, as you’re most likely someone who likes to think outside-the-box, or do you ditch the box to begin with!?
So why is it OK to put limitations on yourself
– and worse still – fight for those limitations?
It sounds crazy but we all do it, especially at times when we feel stuck, fearful or confused about the future.
Let me give you an example.
Recently I had a call with a client – a really dynamic, open-minded person with a skillset the length of her arm, a great personality, a can-do attitude in general but she was putting a lot of energy into consciously settling for less than what she deserved.
She was arguing for her own limitations, standing up for all the reasons why she could NOT move forward. She was defending her challenges and frustrations in life.
She was determined to hold onto patterns of thought and behaviour that were keeping her playing smaller than she was capable of. It’s like she was trying to trap her own potential.
Why do we do this?
There are many reasons of course, but the most common I see are:
1. Pure habit. We get so used to being problem-focused rather than solution-focused that we simply forget we have the power to reframe and shift our own perspective.
2. Comfort zone – we get very comfortable with our frustrations & limitations – they ‘ve been around so long they feel familiar and can even become part of our identity.
3. Safety – to dare to dream, to dare to change is to step outside that comfort zone and RISK something – risk being happy, risk being successful – it feels risky in general, so we avoid it.
Even when solutions are offered up, they trigger frustration and you fight once more for all the reasons why you can’t change things.
Fighting for your own limitations is when you stand up for the very things you want to eradicate from your life. It is when you fight for all the reasons you CAN’T do or have something.
Imagine if you put the same energy into fighting for what CAN happen, what you CAN achieve.
We cling onto the evidence at hand – it’s too hard, too risky, too scary, I don’t have enough time, money, resources, support, I’m not good enough, I don’t know how etc…
What’s your script? What limitations are you fighting for?
Are you ready to explore your options and give some much needed attention
to your hopes and dreams?
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